An Attempt to Find an Answer?

I hate being sick SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! UUURRRGGGGGGG. All of the niquil, dayquil, theraflu, tea, tissues, sneezing, coughing, and grossness just needs to STOP. RIGHT. NOW. Okay sorry, rant over :)  I feel like all of the things that were making me sad last week are now just making me mad…and I’m not sure if that’s healthy or not but whatever. I don’t understand why people need to be so muddy and wishy washy with their emotions. I wish we lived in a world where people could just be honest….

She is giving me this crooked half smile half insane person look and I kind of don’t know what to do about it. Ope now she is contemplating the way in which she will write a 16 bar something or other…can’t remember exactly what she said. Some Berklee musical form. She also just keeps saying she is “ill.” Not really sure what that means :/ Someone help me????

Do you ever feel like you have SO MANY emotions running through your head but you have no way of getting them out? Blllaaarrrrg.  I just can’t seem to find the right chord progression or the right patterns of letters turning into words and then phrases to communicate what I want to/have to say.  I’m feeling sad but a Dmin chord just isn’t cutting it today and a simple I love him but he will never know doesn’t seem right at all.  I kind of just want to curl up into a ball sometimes and shut out the rest of the world. Music is therapy for me but sometimes is just seems to add to the pressures and disappointments of every day life.  Is there a point at which listening to sad or depressing music that matches your current emotions becomes more detrimental than helpful? I think so…but then again when you are sad or depressed you are kind of lacking the basic skills needed to assess a situation like that.  I find time and time again that when I am sad I just feel the need to continue listening to music that I identify with which keeps me in that sad state of mind and so on and so on….hmmm. On another random but not so random note are there people that are completely perfect for each other that will never get a chance to be together? Does that happen? Does the world let that happen? If something is meant to be…will it happen? Is anything meant to be? I’m not meaning to fill this blog with meaningless and unanswerable questions about the universe but sometimes I just feel like the answer to all of my problems lies in the answers to the bigger questions.  I believe that there is a delicate balance to the universe or at least if not delicate, there is some balance in the universe that keeps negative and positive energy in check.  So if that is true, are there things that are more likely to happen and is there a system that allows for good people to receive things they deserve? (And I guess the same goes for bad people or people that have done bad deeds) I don’t really know where I’m going with any of this except for the fact that I feel heartbroken and I don’t think this feeling has any justification.  He hasn’t done anything wrong and he will never know the way I feel.  I think pathetic is the word I would use for myself in this situation.  SO if I know this and I can label the feeling then…why can’t I change it?  Logic and emotions seem to conflict in life a lot don’t they?  Well maybe it’s possible to manipulate ones emotions, to subdue them? Do you think it’s possible to trust in your own logic so much that you could change the way your heart and every part of your body feels? Well I’m gonna try.  On a brighter note, I think at least for the moment, my songwriters block has subsided.  Until next time… :)